Another Year has Gone by

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Anyone who ever said that you can’t completely change your life in a year, is a fucking liar. I’m now officially proof. Birthdays are always a time for me to reflect on my personal life and career, to take stock of what has happened over the preceding 12 months. This year, the list of changes has been long, shocking, fucking ridiculous, and somehow absolutely perfect.

On February 28th, 2020, I was hiking with my boyfriend through the snow, enjoying the woods of small-town, rural Germany. The night before my friends and I had celebrated in a bar, enjoying as the first snow fell that year. Two good friends were pregnant. My career was on track and going great. I loved my friends, my job, my home, my yoga, my life. I was content. Had you asked me if I wanted to change something, I’d have said “No!” and rolled my eyes.

Not much later, COVID hit. Work-life and stay-at-home life melded.

Winter passed; spring came. My 300h yoga teacher training switched completely to online courses and Friday nights were spent in front of a screen practicing asanas and meditation instead of going out to grab drinks.

Summer came and my non-work time was spent hiking in the local woods and in lockdown. More people flocked into my beloved forest and haven of tranquility than ever before. But life was easy, simple, and peaceful. I read. I studied. I practiced.

Then the news hit. After my yearly health inspection, it became clear something needed to be done. Over was the time where I was certain I would never need treatment again and the tumors had ceased growing. The time to start taking serious meds had finally and tragically come.

Then events snowballed. Within a span of only a few months…

I quit my job.

I decided to travel the world as long as I still could.

I determined to tell the world about my health problems.

I started my campaign.

I was on TV.

I was on the radio.

I flew to Mexico.

I decided to write a book and never return to a “normal” job again if I could help it.

I started healing, inside and out.

I moved on to Guatemala.

I was changing.

I changed.

I decided once and for all, I would never have kids – the risks were just too high.

My boyfriend and I broke up because of it.

We decided to stay friends.

And then, today, I turned 32. And I started to reflect on what has happened to me since that day hiking in the Spessart. How much my life has been altered. How much I have altered my life.

Life is funny. It has taken me somewhere I’ve always longed to be and yet somehow never expected to be. I am happier than I have ever been, in many ways. I feel freer than I could have imagined. I feel on the right path. I am drawing my desired future towards me. I can sense good things are coming. I am comfortable with the constant state of change and wonder what surprises the universe has in store for me next.

The best birthday gift I have ever received: That I am alive and where I am. I have no wishes. I am simply happy.

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